38% of our
communication is conveyed through the sound of our voice and on the phone our
voice accounts for 84% of our message. That’s why having a voice that conveys
confidence and enthusiasm is so important.
People form an
opinion about us within 2 seconds of meeting us. Most of those opinions or
impressions are formed in a primitive part of our brain; the same part of the
brain animals get their “animal instinct” from.
Like animals, we listen for tones in the voice that tell us whether the
person we’ve just met is trustworthy, confident, honest, intelligent,
enthusiastic, positive and safe to be with.
Because we
instinctively evaluate and judge the sound
of the communication before we
evaluate the actual words being said, women, with higher pitched voices are
often at a disadvantage. I believe there are two reasons that higher pitched
voices are not taken as seriously. First of all, since all children start off
with adorable high pitched voices, a high pitched voice makes us seem young and
inexperienced. And second, in the animal kingdom, higher pitched sounds are
often used to give off warnings of danger or to express fear, anxiety and
disapproval. So a woman who does not work to modulate the pitch of her voice
either comes off as childlike and insecure or shrill and anxious – not particularly
effective qualities in the workplace.
In addition to the
actual pitch of the voice, women also have issues with intonation that can
totally sabotage their message. Upspeaking – making every sentence end as
though it is a question – has become almost epidemic in people under 30!! When
people constantly talk with the upspeaking intonation, it conveys two things to
me as a listener 1) they are not sure about anything they are saying which is
why they ask it in the form of a question. Or 2) they are so insecure about
forming a real opinion they need to ask me for approval to say what they are
saying.
What to do if you have vocal issues? Get in touch with your diaphragm. The muscle
that goes across your chest, behind your upper ribcage. Learning diaphragmatic
breathing can really help. A strong diaphragm supports your breath and helps
create chest resonance. There are exercises that can help strengthen the
diaphragm muscles. ( I actually have created a Vocal Workout CD that goes
through breathing exercises and has
intonation and articulation drills as well) I’m living proof exercise helps.
Full disclosure: as a child, my family used to make fun of my voice for being
high. They had a very weird term for it: they called it a “fry” voice and said
(very political incorrect I’m sure) that I sounded Chinese. In college,
studying acting, I had voice and diction classes every morning where I had to
do many of the exercises that I teach on my CD.
Okay, I’ll shut up
now. As you may notice, I’m fairly passionate about this topic.
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