10 Ways to Give Your Confidence a Shot in the Arm
Recently I had the honor of having one of my Articles published on About.com. I'm sharing it below. Enjoy! Take my advice and call me in the morning.
We've all heard the expression "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." But did you know it can take up to 12 visits to undo a negative first impression? Whether you're trying to impress an employer, a client, a prospect or a first date, it's important to project confidence and presence.
Both confidence and presence are communicated from the inside out and the outside in. So it's important to learn how to project confidence from the outside – through your body language and vocal tone and from the inside – by discovering and celebrating your signature strengths (the strengths that make you special.)
Here are 5 inner and 5 outer ways to ramp up your confidence and presence.
For Inner Confidence:
- Do a thorough self-examination. Many of us have trouble separating our strengths from our job descriptions and if we don't have a "real job" we have a very hard time owning the qualities that make us special. Here's one way to help you uncover your signature strengths:
- On a piece of paper, brainstorm a list of all the jobs you've ever had including volunteer positions, motherhood and life partnering. Add to that list any activity you've ever participated in: chess, athletics, debate, gardening. Then add any committees, boards or clubs you've been a member or officer of – ie. church group, PTA, community organization. (FYI. I honed the majority of my leadership skills as PTA president and as a leader in a religious organization.)
- Then take another piece of paper and list all the strengths and skills you had to use or learn in the jobs or activities on your list. This can include qualities you used during challenges as well as triumphs. Do you rely on your creativity, your honesty, humor, optimism, analytic skills? (If this is hard for you to do on your own, enlist a trusted friend or a circle of friends to give you a list of three positive qualities that they see in you.)
- Are there qualities you wish you had that haven't made the list? Write those down too
- 2. Invest in yourself – To polish any skills that need strengthening or to help develop any quality or skill you would like to add, find a coach, trainer, class, or workshop that can help you cultivate or elevate those skills. Most women are terrific at supporting and encouraging others, but will resist investing time or money on supporting and encouraging their own growth. Know that it's never too late to learn or improve on a skill or strength. And also know that you're worth the investment. If coaching or training is not your thing, take a dance, acting or improvisation class, sing Karaoke, paint, draw, sculpt, write! Research shows that when we do something creative (even if creativity isn't one of our top strengths) one of our dominant strengths will jump out to guide us through. Don't worry about being perfect, these new activities will help you bring out and express your signature strengths.
- For the other 8 remedies click here.