Not Your Mama's Girls Scouts

For many of us, myself included, it’s easy to forget that an organization like the Girl Scouts still exists. My personal experience with Girl Scouts ended when, as a Brownie, I went to sleep-away camp where my mother was a counselor. When I found out I had to share a tent with other girls I didn’t know, I refused and slept in my mother’s tent. That was the end of my Girl Scout days. (For those of you who don’t know, my nickname at that time of my life WAS "SHY"!)

So a few months ago when I was referred to the Girl Scouts USA organization to help 10 of their girls prepare presentations for an upcoming conference, I was intrigued.  I was informed that these 10 girls had been selected to be recognized as National Young Women of Distinction. They had been selected from thousands of girls across the country who had created Gold Award “Take Action” Projects. According to the GIRL SCOUTS USA website:

To earn her Gold Award, a Girl Scout Senior or Ambassador (These are Girl Scouts age 16-19) designs and helms a “Take Action” project that: 

• She is passionate about—in thought, deed, and action
• Incorporates organizational, leadership, and networking skills 
• Fulfills a need within her community (whether local or global) 
• Creates change that has the potential to be ongoing 

Okay, being my NY jaded self, I had no idea what to expect with these projects: Quilt making for the homeless? But boy was I blown away when I read about what these girls had created: 

• A traveling mini-van that brings education, food, and hygiene to homeless street children in the Philippines.
• A martial arts program taught to a girl’s school in India so that they could gain confidence and feel safer dealing with what’s called “Eve-Shaming”: 
• A heavily researched documentary on Human Trafficking AND another heavily researched documentary on Child Pornography;

Dare to Share Your Story!

For a long time when I talked about my business, I was reluctant to tell people my whole story. I would leave out the part about being an actress and screenwriter. I had the idea that it would make me seem "flaky" and a less serious business owner. But most times when I let it "slip," I found that it really resonated with people. In retrospect, it seems like a no brainer to talk about how my acting and writing skills help make me a better communication skills trainer but at the time, I was clearly not in love with my whole story. I was holding on to some shame about my path. Are you doing that?

Not telling your whole story to your prospects, clients or associates can be like asking them to start watching a movie from the middle. It feels confusing and less engaging. They may not know why it feels that way but deep down inside you do. 

I'm not suggesting you "overshare" some things may be best left unsaid, but I am suggesting that you dig deep into your past experiences for what you may think is a piece of coal and figure out a way to polish it into a diamond. That's one of the things I love doing with clients.

Recently, a client of mine was struggling with feeling authentic about delivering her "elevator pitch." She hated doing it because it sounded so... you know, "pitchy." She took all my developing a perfect pitch advice and came up with perfectly clear verbiage around what she does and how she can help individuals but it still sounded inauthentic and inconsistent with who she is. That's when I realized that there was something in her "backstory" that she was leaving out and which made her the perfect person to be doing what she is doing. Once we put that in, she sounded so much more authentic, engaging and credible. And she was more at ease telling her story to people than she could ever be trying to sell her services.

The next week I met with two clients who had the exact same issue! We are working to get them to let their stories shine! 

What's your story? If you're sitting on what you think is a stocking full of coal, contact me. I guarantee I can figure out a way to make that "coal" shine like a diamond.

Is your wardrobe keeping up?

I asked my friend and colleague, Fashion Stylist Tania Sterl to write something about Spring Training for your wardrobe.  Here’s what she had to say. Enjoy!

First and most importantly-get clear on your goals and desires and so you can dress with intention. 

Think about dressing for the next level.  

• Who do you want to meet/impress/do business with?
• What opportunities are you seeking to attract?
• What important events must you dress for?
• What is your next income goal?

Dressing with intention draws others towards you - magnetizes them.

Often I tell my clients, not only should that coat, suit, shirt or dress be something you "love" - instinctively without doubt. It should actually scare you a little bit - cause you to wonder - "Am I worthy of this amazing power purse (or briefcase)?" Yes you are!

That's dressing for the next level.

When you take risks you grow. And taking small risks with your clothing can help you grow as well. And it just might be what will help take you to the next level.

COACHABILITY!

Is everyone coachable?  I often get asked a variation of this question. So I’ve been giving it some thought. By now I’ve worked with probably over a thousand clients. I’ve only had two who I felt did not make significant changes after working with me. In one instance, it was because the person really didn’t want to change and in the second instance, the person really did want to change but had a hard time implementing my suggestions. Maybe I was the wrong coach for them. Maybe the timing was wrong. I know through my studies in Brain Science that our brain can develop new habits so, why is it easier for some people to change than others?

Recently, I’ve been working with several clients who after less than two hours have made tremendous leaps in their presentation content, engagement factor and delivery. It might be easy to pat myself on the back and call myself a miracle worker (okay, maybe I did that for a minute) But then I sat back and analyzed the situation. 

NYWICI Cocktails & Conversations: Babies, Boomers, Multiculturals

Wondering how to market across generations?

I recently had the pleasure of moderating this entertaining and informative panel of wonderful, wise and witty women: Anne Shoket, (Millineal expert former Editor-in-chief SEVENTEEN) Lucinda Martinez, (VP HBO) Lesley Jane Seymour (Editor-in-chief MORE magazine) Take a look at this beautifully edited snippet of the event.

Dealing with F.L.O.P.S – (Fear & Loathing of Public Speaking)

 by Sarah Solomon
 It’s an often acknowledged fact that the fear of Public Speaking ranks higher than death on the list of people’s worst fears, inspiring Jerry Seinfeld’s joke – “At a funeral most people would rather be in the casket then delivering the Eulogy.”  So where does FLOPS come from and how can we get over it? Some social psychologists think it stems from the primal fear of being humiliated in front of our “tribe.” From an evolutionary standpoint public humiliation could be fatal because it carries the risk of being thrown out of the tribe and forced to fend for yourself. Other people believe that FLOPS stems from a specific  trauma around speaking in public. Wherever FLOPS comes from, there are many encouraging stories of how people have overcome their fears. Here’s an account of how my assistant Sarah Solomon overcame hers. I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

I will never forget the first day of my COM 1010 class when my professor handed out the syllabus and for some strange reason I was certain we wouldn’t have to give any speeches

Are You Trying Too hard? Learn the Art of Wu Wei - Effortless Action

Ever watch a presentation or have a conversation and come away feeling like the person was trying way too hard? 

I take a lot of exercise classes at my gym. Recently, we have had a few new teachers sub or introduce new classes. A week ago, I took a new dance based class with a new fitness instructor and found myself NOT enjoying it at all! I felt like I had a perpetual inner scowl and I couldn’t figure out why. I love to dance! I started blaming myself. “Am I just being pissy because the teacher I wanted to be here wasn’t here?” “Am I being ageist”(She was young and I’m not) “Am I being arrogant cause I think I’m such a hot dancer?” or ”Do I just hate and resist anything new?” All of the above could have been true, but midway through the class, the communication skills coach in me wanted to figure out what other dynamic might be playing out here. Maybe it wasn’t all me.

I reflected back on the fact that a few weeks ago, I’d taken the same class with a new teacher and loved her within two seconds. So instead of judging my feelings, I began to question where they might be coming from. As I watched the teacher smiling broadly and trying to encourage us to smile and pose and enjoy ourselves, I realized that she was trying too hard. She was trying to “make” us enjoy what we were doing instead of enjoying it herself and trusting that because she enjoys it, that enjoyment will infect us. Afterward, I spoke to a gym buddy who had also taken the class and she had concluded the same thing.

I decided to write a blog post about the difference between trying too hard and “just being” and then… low and behold, the next day, a friend of mine (I hadn’t spoken to her about this at all) happened to mention an article she’d read in the New York Times that she thought I would find interesting. It was called - A Meditation on the Art of Not Trying (John Tierney, 12/15/2014) and it specifically addresses what I had concluded! Amazing! So instead of having to write this whole post from scratch, I get to use Mr. Tierney’s article to support my ideas! Thanks John wherever you are!