Y Txtng is NOT Communicating!

Sending text messages and emails are extremely helpful if you are quickly arranging social plans or catching up with an old friend.  They are fast, simple, and to the point.  In turn, they allow you to convey a straightforward message without all the small talk that comes with a face-to-face conversation.  However, while replacing verbal communication with texting and emailing, we are losing so much in the process. 

Between 80 and 90% of our communication is supported by nonverbal cues. Meaning, when we have a verbal dialogue with someone, a large portion of the impression that we make is based on body language, facial expression, intonation, and rate of speech.  We decide whether the other person is being sarcastic or humorous by analyzing their pitch and speech pattern.  Furthermore, we use these factors to decide whether or not we will trust the person we are speaking to.  Where is the presence of these elements when we text message and email?

Looking Your Best, While Still Feeling Your Best

by Linda Rosenblum and Robyn Hatcher

One thing I share at all my presentations and with all my clients is the 3 V's of effective communication. The Visual – what is seen, The Vocal – what is heard, and the Verbal – the actual words said. The most important element by far - the element that has the greatest impact- is the Visual element. When I speak about the visual aspect of communication, I usually talk about body language, posture, gestures, movement and facial expressions. However, one of the most obvious parts of our visual appearance is our clothing. One of my interns, Linda Rosenblum writes about what goes into creating an effective professional wardrobe.

  

Growing up, my mother taught me everything that she knew about dressing like a professional. "Don't show too much leg," "Make sure your shirts aren't cut too low and your heels aren't too high."  Because of this advice, I grew up dressing the way my mother would dress herself – which wasn’t exactly fashion forward.  On the first day of my first professional job, I walked through the front doors, confident in my outfit choice of a knee length skirt paired with an oversized blazer. I quickly, learned that this style was totally outdated.  Women in my office were dressed way more provocatively in tight, ill-fitting outfits and wearing their highest heels.  I was utterly shocked, so for my next day on the job, I tried to find a suitable middle ground between old-fashioned and inappropriate.

If you've been sitting at your desk pondering the effectiveness of your professional wardrobe, here are FIVE ways to impress your colleagues, while still making a statement:

Networking: If at first you don’t succeed…

Lessons Learned from Sticking it out When You Feel Like You Have Two Heads!

For a sole proprietor, marketing is always a challenge. Recently,  I closed an extremely lucrative deal to create and deliver a training workshop for a  large corporation.  I did not get offered this job as a result of Facebook, LinkedIn, twitter or any other media outlet. I got it through good old fashioned face to face networking. As I’ve mentioned before in this blog, almost 99% of my work comes from networking. But this particular networking connection almost didn’t happen since I  almost left the event prematurely in an “I hate networking” funk.

I had really been anticipating this event. It was being hosted by a woman’s organization I had just rejoined and it involved shopping - one of my all time passions. But something felt off as I entered. I ran into two people I knew right off the bat but I felt like they both kind of dissed me.  And it went downhill from there. It seemed as though everyone I made eye contact with quickly looked away thinking they could find someone better to talk to. Had I had grown a second head or something? Was I wearing the wrong dress/shoes/makeup? I watched other people chat and exchange cards while I could only manage a few fleeting encounters.

I'm the Manager...Why won't they listen to me?

by Narmeen Iqbal and Robyn Hatcher

Since, I (Narmeen) am going to business school in January I thought it will be great idea to write a blog about effective communication skills as a future manager.

Communications skills are extremely important in any role in our lives whether it is as personal or professional level. Effective communication skills are essential for being a good manager. Within communications there are many sub-categories but I will focus on the category of oral communication with employees. The most important role for a manger is the ability to get his or her point across effectively.

Here are 3 tips to help managers achieve that:

Communication Itch

How many times do you sit at a meeting, have dinner with a friend or are on the other end of the phone with someone and feel as though you are sitting on what you REALLY want to say? I’m sure we have all done this to some extent. In today’s blog post, my intern Narmeen Iqbal, talks about how she dealt with this situation which she calls the “Communication Itch”

Surely, all relationship experts agree that communication is the key to a happy, healthy and long lasting relationship. Though I can’t help wondering how many of us actually use this powerful tool to transform our relationships.

I once suffered from what I would like to call a, “communication itch” meaning that I wanted to express my true inner feelings in some way but I always found non-constructive ways of going about it. For example, one of my best friends frequently would call me or wanted to see me whenever she needed help with something but never to ask about my wellbeing, for a while I let this behavior slide by thinking that she might realize it on her own. As time passed by I started to distance myself thinking that there is no point telling her that I feel used by her. One day she asked me if I wanted to hang out and I agreed, however, I didn’t make an effort to talk much. Basically, I was giving her the silent treatment thinking that I was punishing her for using me for her own purposes. This went on for quite some time.

Stepping in to What You've Honed

What a pair of shoes taught me!

I recently coined the expression, Own it While Who Hone it, and based on the amount of retweets I get, that phrase seems to resonate with a lot of people.  A few weeks ago while getting complimented on one of my favorite pairs of shoes, I realized that those shoes literally exemplify the act of me owning while I honed.

First a confession: I’m a Sale-aholic. The words “Marked down”  “On Sale” and “Discount Store” are like crack Cocaine to me.

I bought the afore mentioned shoes pictured on the left several years ago. I was in one of my favorite close-out stores, National Wholesale Liquidators, which has since “closed out” its Manhattan location. (To this day, it’s hard for me to go to lower Broadway without becoming filled with grief.) But I digress. These shoes had been carelessly tossed in a bin with other designer shoes. I picked them up and thought “wow, these are cute. “but soooo not me” I tried them on anyway. They fit perfectly and there was something really hot about them, but they were “SO not me” For business wear, I tended to go more “traditional” and classic.  “when and where would I ever wear these shoes”  Then I looked at the price and my sale addiction kicked in and I thought, at this price! I can’t NOT get them…” I brought them home and hid them in my closet. Months went by. One lovely summer day, I needed to go to an interview for a volunteer position; one that I was ambivalent about accepting. So I decided that, since no one there knew me, I would try on a slightly different persona – a persona that was comfortable wearing those shoes. It felt great! I LOVED being that person. (I was approved and wound up accepting the volunteer position) That might have been the end of the story. 

However, the day of my shoe debut, I had called a friend who has known me for a very long time. We met for a quick coffee after the interview. She didn’t comment on my shoes one way or another. Of course, since I was still unsure about this new persona I was trying on, I took her lack of commenting as a negative.( go figure!)  I put the shoes back in my closet and did not take them out again for SIX YEARS!!! I kid you not!

SIX YEARS went by with me glancing at the shoes from time to time and wondering why on earth I had bought them, why I was keeping them and most importantly would I EVER wear them again.

Is Your BULLY- Button Showing?

4 Strategies to Neutralize a Bully

October is anti-bullying month and I know we’ll be hearing and reading about bullying in all forms. As a business communication skills expert, I’d like to look at how bullying shows up in the work place and among “friends” and colleagues and share some tools that might help fend off the bully in your midst.