Are You Trying Too hard? Learn the Art of Wu Wei - Effortless Action

Ever watch a presentation or have a conversation and come away feeling like the person was trying way too hard? 

I take a lot of exercise classes at my gym. Recently, we have had a few new teachers sub or introduce new classes. A week ago, I took a new dance based class with a new fitness instructor and found myself NOT enjoying it at all! I felt like I had a perpetual inner scowl and I couldn’t figure out why. I love to dance! I started blaming myself. “Am I just being pissy because the teacher I wanted to be here wasn’t here?” “Am I being ageist”(She was young and I’m not) “Am I being arrogant cause I think I’m such a hot dancer?” or ”Do I just hate and resist anything new?” All of the above could have been true, but midway through the class, the communication skills coach in me wanted to figure out what other dynamic might be playing out here. Maybe it wasn’t all me.

I reflected back on the fact that a few weeks ago, I’d taken the same class with a new teacher and loved her within two seconds. So instead of judging my feelings, I began to question where they might be coming from. As I watched the teacher smiling broadly and trying to encourage us to smile and pose and enjoy ourselves, I realized that she was trying too hard. She was trying to “make” us enjoy what we were doing instead of enjoying it herself and trusting that because she enjoys it, that enjoyment will infect us. Afterward, I spoke to a gym buddy who had also taken the class and she had concluded the same thing.

I decided to write a blog post about the difference between trying too hard and “just being” and then… low and behold, the next day, a friend of mine (I hadn’t spoken to her about this at all) happened to mention an article she’d read in the New York Times that she thought I would find interesting. It was called - A Meditation on the Art of Not Trying (John Tierney, 12/15/2014) and it specifically addresses what I had concluded! Amazing! So instead of having to write this whole post from scratch, I get to use Mr. Tierney’s article to support my ideas! Thanks John wherever you are!

Beauty Pageants and Why I Agreed to Judge One

by Robyn Hatcher

Growing up, there were two things I'd look forward to every September. (School was not one of them) There was my birthday on Sept 8th and the Miss America Pageant that usually fell in that same week. Yes, the Miss America pageant. I never missed it!  Our TV used to be on the sun porch of our Philadelphia row house and I can vividly remember those early fall evenings. My sister and I would take our baths early and hunker down to watch the pageant. We rarely missed a year. Then there was Miss USA and Miss Universe and we’d faithfully watch those too. So when I was asked to be a judge in an upcoming state pageant for the Miss USA organization, I was excited. But after saying yes, and posting it on Facebook, I found that there were many people who thought saying yes was a big mistake and tried discouraging me.

That made me wonder: Was people’s blanket denigration of pageants warranted? And being an intelligent, liberated woman, what was it about pageants that I loved so much?

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5 ways I can help you revolutionize your communication.

In case you’ve ever wondered… What can Robyn and SpeakEtc. do for me?

Let me count the ways:

1)     Problem: You dread people asking: “…and what do you do?” because you have a hard time explaining what you do in a way that doesn’t make their eyes glaze over or you feel like a used car salesman.

How I can help: In one or two one-one one sessions, I can discover what sets you apart, match what you do with your unique communication style, what I call your “ActorType” and help you create a pitch to be proud of.  Within the first 20 minutes of one session, I had a client call me a “genius” for transforming his generic jargon filled elevator pitch into an engaging, individualized, intro-mercial for his marketing business which he can now fold into a conversation, use on his website or pitch to investors or prospects.

 2)   Problem: You have an important presentation coming up and its success could mean recognition and more business and revenue for you and/or your company but you’re lacking confidence and don’t know how to pull it all together.

How I can help: I work with you and your presentation at any stage. I can organize and polish your existing material; help you write compelling content from scratch and/or help you hone your delivery skills (body language and voice) so that your presentation is engaging and reflects your unique communication style.  In the past year, within 3-6 sessions, I’ve helped upwards of 20 individuals organize, write, tweak and learn to deliver presentations on: Dating; Owning one’s beauty; running a business; socially responsible portfolio investing; investing in Master Limited Partnerships; Developing better fitness and health practices; bringing specialty foods to the U.S. market; Spiritual awakening in Peru; and many other fascinating topics. My clients have used these presentations at TedX conferences, for videos on their sites and other major and minor stages.

      3) Problem: Your job security and effectiveness is being compromised because you have difficulty expressing yourself successfully at work. Or your advancement at work is being hampered by your inability to show executive and leadership presence.

       

Five Business Lessons I've Learned from Reality TV!

Reality TV has been the bane of existence for most actors and television writers since it first infiltrated prime-time television. And since I have spent 30-plus years as a professional actor and 15-plus as a TV/film writer I should rightly resent the onslaught of reality TV for taking away job opportunities from people like me. BUT,… I have to confess. I love watching shows like American Idol, Next Food Network Star, So You Think You can Dance, Project Runway and The Voice, because the communication trainer and coach part of me learns so much from them!  

Those shows illustrate, support and re-enforce so many of the things that I teach, train and write about. And for entrepreneurs and business owners,I'd like to point out some important lessons these competition shows can teach us.

First, let me point out the similarities as I see them. In the very early phase of your business, you probably had to win over a friend, a family member or an investor and convince them of the validity of your product or service. That would be like the initial auditions reality contestants have to go through. In the next phase of your business, you may have to sell your concept to a larger investor, partner, bank, and of course your prospects & customers. In this phase you need to show not only that you have a good concept, but that that concept can make a larger group of people happy and profitable. That’s like the phase where the reality contestants have to impress the larger TV voting audience (and the show’s producers) that they have what it takes to impress, entertain and encourage audiences to tune in.  Then, as time goes by, you, like the reality contestants, have to prove that you are not a one trick pony, that you have “Star Power” and will be able to sustain the audiences/clients interest week after week, month after month, year after year. How DO they do it??

Here are FIVE business lessons I've learned from watching reality television that might help catapult YOUR business to super-stardom.

Standing Ovation Presentations in Forbes.com!

Work in Progress            

Career talk for women                

ForbesWoman 11/19/2013   

Ten Career And Self-Help Books For Your Holiday Gift List

Caroline Ceniza-Levine, Contributor

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In my line of work as an executive coach and corporate trainer, I read a LOT of career and self-help books. Here are 10 of my favorites from this year:

 

Forget A Mentor, Get A Sponsor: The New Way To Fast-Track Your Career by Sylvia Ann Hewlett
For the corporate climber, this is the best career book of the year. Hewlett manages to be candid but still encouraging, mixing just the right amount of hard research and accessible anecdotes.

Suitcase Entrepreneur by Natalie SissonFor the entrepreneur (and the traditional employee who wants more efficient systems!), this is a must-read. Sisson, a fellow Forbes contributor, specializes in location-independent businesses and shares her best hacks for how to launch, grow and build an online business, while traveling the world.

Standing Ovation Presentations by Robyn HatcherAre you a Hero, Buddy, Sex Symbol, Curmudgeon…? Hatcher teaches presentation skills by breaking down people into 9 Actor Types. One of her exercises even uses monologues from famous movies. This is a helpful how-to book on an important skill that still manages to be light and entertaining.

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  ForbesWoman        

9/05/2013 @ 5:14PM |613 views

Get Your Celebrity Fix And Career Advice In 3 Fun Reads

Caroline Ceniza-Levine, Contributor

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Standing Ovation Presentations by Robyn Hatcher

 

Robyn Hatcher is founder and principal of SpeakEtc, a boutique communication and presentation-skills training company based in NYC. She’s also a former actress and writer for two daytime dramas. In her new book, Standing Ovation Presentations (Motivational Press, 2013), Hatcher shares a thorough overview of communication and presentation best practices, told in a unique framework of 9 ActorTypes (e.g., Hero, Ingenue, Villain, Comic, Whiz Kid, Super Hero, Sex Symbol, Buddy, and Salty Veteran/ Curmudgeon). I’m the Villain type, and the book has given me some great ideas!
Hatcher’s book is a great example of a super fun read that also provides valuable career advice. The communication tips are excellent. There is an exhaustively detailed section on how to structure a presentation. Hatcher also covers verbal and non-verbal strategies. At the same time, there are entertainment analogies woven throughout, and there is even an exercise based on monologues from famous movies. You won’t feel like you’re reading a dry training manual even though you’re getting great training tips.

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Five Communication Disconnects & How to Solve Them

 

The art of communication is the language of leadership. James C. Humes

No question about it, communication is an art. No matter how skilled or knowledgeable you are, if your communication skills are subpar, your leadership and management skills will be too.

Communication encompasses a broad spectrum: there's email, memos, reports, phone, video conferencing and what I'd like to focus on here, the old-fashioned face-to-face.

I work with many individuals who are brilliant at what they do but become baffled by the fact that their direct reports don't understand them or that their superiors are not recognizing them for promotions.

Here are five of the most common communication disconnects I see in the individuals I coach.

 1)      Muddled Messages:

Time is money and most people don't like to waste time sifting through an avalanche of words to figure out what you are really trying to say. I always tell my clients to figure out their bottom line in any important communication. For any message you need to relay, ask yourself this question: “If my listener remembers just one thing, what do I want them to remember.” That “one thing” is your bottom line or core message.  You can then shape the rest of the communication around that bottom line. (I suggest using a mind map) It also helps to use specific language in your communication to reinforce your message. For example

Visible Woman: Author/Speaker Guru Robyn Hatcher

Originally Published on Style Goes Strong: 
(Sadly this site no longer exists so I've given this article a home here)

By Gerit Quealy Published Jun 24, 2013

I often hear the lament that women over a certain age feel invisible. But there are a lot of women out there showing up, doing their thing, and making their mark in highly visible ways.

Case in point: Author and speaker coach Robyn Hatcher. She gave us some great advice on how important your voice is to your personal style. She's been coaching others on how to best present themselves for over a dozen years as a voice, speech, and presentation coach at SpeakEtc.

And she just distilled her accumulated wisdom into a new book, Standing OvationPresentations, which helps you identify your personal speaking style and hone it to perfection.

Hatcher has a section in her book called the Wardrobe Department, which addresses issues of style for speaking in public (American's #1 fear!). But we asked 10 questions about her personal style which you might find easily adaptable to your own.